Hi, folks. It’s great to be back. Just give me a few moments to clear out some of these tumbleweeds.
Okay. That’s better.
As you may have noticed, not too much has been going on at our little corner of the web since August. Well, we have a simple explanation for that.
Bosie has been busy as the vice presidential nominee for the Republican Party, and I have taken a job as his personal shopper. Who can pass up a gig like that, huh?
As you can tell by that incredibly hacky joke, I am not back in peak form yet. It’s going to take a few days to get back in fighting shape. But I promise you when I do, I am going to go all Kimbo Slice on bad small town columnists across this great land of ours.
(How is Kimbo doing anyway? I’ve been out of the country. Still tearing it up, I assume?)
In the meantime, it is time to unveil a new feature that requires absolutely no work from me: “Behold! A Good Column!”
In our endeavors, we occasionally find a local columnist who is putting in a modicum of effort. And we feel the need to reward that effort. Winning our praise is actually quite simple. I can explain it in three easy steps.
1. Find an interesting story.
2. Do a little legwork.
3. Write the story in non-offensive manner.
This week’s honoree is Byron Smialek of the Washington (PA) Observor-Report. Mr. Smialek is not going to win a Pulitzer for his column “Who Watches the Watchers?”, but he found an interesting tale that actually impacts his community, interviewed someone other than his six-year-old daughter at the kitchen table, and didn’t break any of the rules of grammar in relating the story.
And having lived in a small town myself, any story about an anti-crime activist running off to South Carolina with $1500 in raffle money rings true. I once paid a guy to install a shower. He got halfway through the job when he decided that what he really needed to do was ride his motorcyle to Myrtle Beach. Last I heard, he was a bouncer in a strip club.
It’s good to be back.
